leave your fears behind,

"Ini hal baru bagi saya..................................."

Menatap kosong ke atas langit-langit kamar, ya ampun seakan tidak ada kekuatan lagi untuk memikirkan hal ini. Baru-baru ini hobi saya adalah menatap langit vanila sore hari sambil memikirkan akan sifat pengecut yang tak terelakkan ini. Mudah saja, saya diminta ntuk mengajar di tingkat Sekolah Menegah Atas yang embel-embelnya adalah ekolah unggulan di daerah saya. Uwahhh..... antara pretigious atau nerveous, what should I do?

Selama menjadi guru Bahasa Inggris, saya belum pernah mengajar formal siswa SMA. Tugas KKN, PPL, ataupun tempat saya bekerja sekarang selalu mentoknya berjodoh di SMP. Yah saya suka anak-anak yang bisa saya takuti sekaligus permainkan, wahahhhhhh guru macam apa saya ini.  

Tetapi setelah berbagi panjang lebar dengan orang terdekat, saya menyadari akan rasa kurang percaya diri sekaligus kebimbangan yang saya miliki ini. Saya terbiasa dengan tantangan dan memiliki keberanian tepat di atas kepala saya ini, karena kurang tantangan mungkin ataupun terlalu lama bermasa bodoh dengan diri sendiri yang membuat saya seperti ini. Saya harus bangkit merupakan pilihan dan bangkit dari titik mana kini sedang saya pilih. Jika hidup adalah pilihan, maka keberanian adalah kemampuan mengendalikan kebimbangan dan mengembalikan keyakinan pada tempatnya. Sejak awal memutuskan menjadi seorang guru itu tidak mudah, so ini waktu yang tepat untuk memberanikan diri. Dikutip dari buku Negeri 5 Menara, "Jangan pernah takut dan tunduk pada siapa pun. Takutlah hanya kepada Allah. Karena yang membatasi kita di atas dan di bawah hanyalah langit dan bumi".   

Maka beranilah, karena sikapmu adalah tanggung jawab untuk dirimu sendiri!---Rini

what's next?

That question is quite frustrating to answer, why? Because I am 22 years old. It is not a very good time to speak about the DREAMS. Other girls outside are having good job and financially support them to own what they want. Comparing mine, I am a kind of teacher who gets super minimum salary standard and I can’t afford many things with it. A wise person said that the way to thank of all you have is a truly treasure. I never regret to be like this because I do what I like. It does no matter that it is underestimated or soon. The most important case is I never imagine being someone else outside a teacher profession. It takes quite hard working to be. Actually I hope to be a civil servant teacher, which is totally encouraged by the government and officially realized to be good job in public eyes, but whatever I want to be a teacher because I really want it. Then I want to enroll my Master school somewhere. I am thinking of ADS as the best way to drag me in, while I ever dream to have education out of this country for Master of Education or Master of Linguistics. I don’t even want to stop learning, if I do, I’ll die. This year I am too hopeless of myself listening that Mom really asks me to have my Master school, but I am in uncomfortable zone which does not let me to do that. I promise myself that next year no matter how, I should be in. I am embarrassed how strong the support of my Mom. She insists me to be a Master graduation in a very young age. I thank to Mom, but I have to bring my mind to the straightway and then fight for the way I’ve taken.

          Another story is I want to make an English club at my hometown. There’s no any club here which can help the people falling for English. It’s very interesting, because English now is not really untouchable and many people like it. It has to be free because it is another voluntary formation. I think many friends can help me to do this, but I still think of it later if I can find supporters.     

I know exactly that my present job is not being been proud to my parents, but I apology that this is amusing me. Even I had promised to my words before entering the University. What kind of a fabricant teaches me is what kind of one I suppose to be.

          I am envious to some of my friends who have passed their limits to reach their dream. So do I, but I am in the super confused of what point I must start. I miss of my dream teaching students out of facilities and in the struggle of studying. It seems that I want to catch somewhere to make a battle awareness of the important of education. For me a teacher is destinied to be a real educator, pass the darkness to bring a candle of country’s future, bring a hope for movement and stand ahead the frightened. I want to be someone who has deeply impression of heart and bring good passion to those. So, I leave much dream to do. I hope all of pray I mention will be heard, and then I can stand on one of my dream!

*teaching career*

It’s a little bit embrassing to tell about this since I’m just a fresh graduated of a state university and I belive that this is not really seriously called career. I’ve been working as English teacher since 2008 first at my ex junior school at my hometown, Maros. It is SMP 1 Maros, as the seventh grade English teacher. Recently I handle the appropriate classes and be responsible for the curricula. So totally, I have put my loyalty for three years, *nice to know. I also work as an super ordinary English instructor for PRIMAGAMA Collage, it’s brand new branch so the students are less.

I began my teaching while lecturing at the collage, so the sweetest understanding from the school academic leader was to place my schedule on Friday or Saturday. Then, I get about sixteen-hour teaching a week. I considerably work there because I fully know that I can serve myself with a kind of real loyalty and taking much creativity to make the class alive. It is such a lecture class for me, though I can’t trust of how much salary I get to pay my hard working, *it’s uncountable. I ever decided to join a course place, but I was not really satisfied with all the decided appointment. In other words, I hate a job which encourages me with the total of money. I meant I would seriously be worked by my excitement and skills, not as the reason as I had a good position to recruit my pupils to book the application batch. Learning is a message of heart, no one can force to do what you do not prefer. Then I did quit. A friend called me to replace her as Indonesia tutor for native speaker (kids). It was so much interesting, more than I ever thought. It was in Language Center UNM, in November and December 2010. I had four students, Leilani and Lidya from Australia and Joshua and Keylaf from USA. Unfortunately, I could not have any experience anymore, fact that some reasons I can explain. But I love it so much, outstanding. There is a strict distinction of teaching Indonesian and foreigners. I can tell you, but I just fell. But, impressively I can conclude that young learners are amazing. They can put you down by less knowledge you have, that is way teaching is a motivation to be more knowledgeable. I tried to apply for some free teacher, but some institutions could not give any help because of classical reason, *contract*. I a little bit disagree of it, yes because I’m young and that’s not my desire. It feels like I have targeted for some ideals. Now, I need to wait and be persistent of them. One ore, this year I don’t enroll my Master degree because of compelling to some scholarship application. I’m doubt, but it’s better for me to try. Seriously, I find my gorgeous self-esteem sometime and an awareness that I have to learn much more. It’s no use to think that I’m perfect, but a desire to see my dream pumps me up. Finally, wherever I am, I just want to present all I have particularly my skill as an English teacher to my beloved country. No best thing except being a teacher, outstanding me………….         

*british inside*

Okay guys, here I tell you about my educational experience at collage, Universitas Negeri Makassar. I was for 2006 batch in English Education C class. It was surely glad to be with all my friends, both boys and girls. It felt like there’s a brotherhood relationship between us. I could barely remember when we were doing assignment together and receiving different point, it was called “this is my luck”. We called ourselves as BRITISH INSIDE. I didn’t know exactly where those words delivered, but it’s already Wardi’s idea. After four years, of course we have to find our own fortune going aside the world to find what we want. I come back and stay at my hometown, while my friends I have no idea about that. A little bit I know about some girls, the point is we catch our own job and live.

BRITISH INSIDE was our proudly name because that was the only class which did need to be altogether to decide everything. Though that we were not a cute genius class, our class attempted the highest point sometime. We were about 35 students from different backgrounds and absolutely characters. We had a lot of boy friends and they were keen of sport. I could remember well the first time we visited Bantimurung together was because the prize of the game. It was very cute and became unforgettable moment ever. Outside that much matters affects us that we will miss each other I believe.   

Being in a class was not easy, there was a war once. It was permitted because everybody had different stuff of head like Ayu vs. Umar or Umar vs. a whole class. Most of friend might say Fitri as a weirdo, but that’s a uniquely of her I guess. Ima was the super unpunctuality person. Wiwi was the wisest lady ever. Aswar was a laptop fairy, you knew where you should go if your laptop got fixed. Kade and Devian were ever after couple, everyone knew that there were hundred times he shot and rejected, but yeah they re in love now I think. There are many stories I can tell you.    

The captain was Umar and the vice was Ishak. I could remember who others participated the class organization, but it could be Rahmiana Rahman and Fitri Ananda Baso. The class was not strict, the lecturers in fact. Some of them could be in a gang, I called it RiTa cs, whose the formations were Rezki Aziz, Siti Qadriah, Syamsinar, Ulfiah Utami, Nurfalah and of course Rita Puspita. Then, I tell you about guys who came in a pair such as Alfirawati Bakri & Salmi, Ni Amma Nur Laily & Sabaria Bakri, and the trio Giswa Vina Astini, Adriani Palunan, & Lela Nur Sri Mustari. Where was I, I might be close to Masyita, St. Nurhidayah or Wiwintisari Mahis. We had Rezky Pratiwi and Sitti Fatimah Saleng as the icon of class, super active and of course we’re proud to have you. Other girls are Ayu Nirmawati, Ferawati Karim, Imelda Mallipa and the boys are Zulkarnain Hasyim, Muh. Aras, Devian Yusnawir, Aswar Abidin, Asrul Syamsir, Ahmad Mawardi, Fahrul Syatir, Akram Sainuddin, Rustam Efendi and Darwin. I think some of them were in love, but that’s not my business to explain here, I let their heart talk, xoxoxoxo.I don’t know whether my friends outside have already conquered or not, I hope they do.   

Whoa it seems to be childish to write your names all, but thank me please for remembering your name *it’s not an easy case, right.

*disappointed*

Gara-garanya instruksi cuti bersama dari Bapak Presiden 16-17 Mei 2011, jadinya hari Senin kemarin saya memutuskan untuk hang out sejenak, bersantai sambil shopping. Nyatanya proses belajar mengajar tetap berlangsung tanpa sepengetahuan saya, al hasil sayapun absent alias b-o-l-o-s. Mana saya tau coba, hari mengajar bagi saya adalah hari yang precious ketika saya harus mengumpulkan segenap ide untuk berdiri di depan mereka. Sayapun baru mengetahui hal ini baru saja, at salah satu siswa saya lagi chatting.
Student : "Sist, knapa nda datang Kmaren?"
Saya     : "???" (knapa saya harus masuk, kan libur), "So, kmarin apa kegiatannya?"
Student : "Ada anak pake baju biru (PPL UNISMUH) yang gantikanki Sist, seru tawwa kelas  karna game na kasikanki!"
Saya     : "!!!" (saya belum baik mungkin di mata mereka)
Yah, beginilah jadinya ketika apa yang diinginkan siswa tidak sesuai dengan apa yang saya berikan. Terus terang saja, saya merasa telah memberikan yang terbaik kepada mereka, tapi bila akhirnya bukan yang seperti yang saya harapkan, tentu saya tidak bisa memaksakan kemauan saya. Saya memiliki banyak kekurangan, jika saya tegas mungkin itu karena kepribadian saya. Segala maaf saya limpahkan kepada mereka apabila saya belum bisa menjadi perfect teacher. Mungkin nanti, karena saat ini pun saya masih masih banyak belajar akan kekurangan saya.

Burning desire to be or do something gives us staying power - a reason to get up every morning or to pick ourselves up and start in again after a disappointment.
Marsha Sinetar
Read more: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/disappointment.html#ixzz1MaTZSrmo

Participle as adjective

Hari ini 14 Mei 2011, saya membawakan materi particilple as adjective. Wallah malah saya yang pusing sendiri, tadinya sudah punya persiapan cukup, eh malah kikuk di depan kelas. Nah ini dia sekilas penjelasannya,

Kata Sifat dibagi menjadi dari descriptive adjective dan limiting adjective. Particilple as adjective termasuk descriptive adjective, adalah kata sifat yang dibentuk dari kata kerja. Dalam hal ini pariciple dapat dibagi menjadi dua yaitu active participle (verb+ing) dan passive participle (verb+ed). Dengan perbedaan bentuk otomatis memberi perbedaan arti pada kata tersebut, perhatikan contoh di bawah:
1. Participles as adjective dapat berupa kata sifat yang dibentuk dari kata kerja tertentu yang memiliki arti yang berbeda pada penggunaannya.

She is bored vs. She is boring

Kata bored dan bore hampir memiliki arti yang sama , yaitu bosan. She is bored-> dia bosan.

Kata boring berarti kata dasar yang mendapat awalan me- atau mem-. She is boring-> dia membosankan.

Dengan kata lain active participle adalah cause of feeling or emotions, penyebab atupun sumber sehingga perassan atau emosi terjadi, sedangkan passive participle adalah receive of feeling or emotions, penerima ata efek perasaan atau emosi.

Contoh,

*It is a tiring day for Joe, now he is getting tired.

Ini adalah hari yang melelahkan untuk Joe, sekarang dia lelah.
* I'm surprised, my friends give me a surprising birthday party suddenly.
Saya terkejut, teman-teman saya memberi pesta kejutan ulang tahun secara tiba-tiba.
*The questions are confusing, I am a million confused.
Soal-soalnya memusingkan, saya sangat pusing.
 Singkatnya, tiring dan tired berasal dari kata tire (membuat lelah), konteks dalam kalimatlah yang membuat penggunaan kata harus sesuai dengan fungsinya. Well agak ribet kan, so practice makes you perfect by clicking this if possible, 
http://www.grammar-quizzes.com/passive3a.html
2. Participles as adjective dapat dibentuk dari action verbs, active participle menyatakan hal ersebut sedang terjadi pada saat diucapkan sedangkan passive participle menyatakan hasil dari sesuatu yang telah belangsung.
*A running boy can win the next competition.
Anak laki-laki yang sedang berlari dapat mamenangkan pertandingan.
*I like that fried potato.
Saya menyukai kentang yang telah digoreng.

Teaching and learning are both process  invoving the hard-working of each other, but a teacher has to make sure that she has outstanding words to amaze those learners!

2010/2011 with you all students,

Tahun ini adalah tahun favorit saya selama bekerja di salah saru sekolah negeri di daerah asal saya, Maros. Mungkin karena mendapat kesempatan untuk bertugas di kelas excellent dengan kemampuan siswa-siswi yang mumpuni. Ini mejadi salah satu motivasi yang besar bagi saya untuk bereksperimen menghasilkan bahan ajaran serta materi yang menarik, tentunya karena otak saya ini agak dinamis, *I’m not trying to make a bigger case. Saya bertugas di empat kelas dengan rata-rata siswa setiap kelasnya, jadi ada sekitar 140 siswa menjadi tanggung jawab saya pada mata pelajaran Bahasa Inggris. Entah bagaimana caranya, saya hampir menghafal nama setiap siswa saya, mungkin frekuensi pertemuan dua kali seminngu juga menjadi factor pendukungnya. Dengan demikian, banyak hal-hal yang memudahkan proses mengajar saya termasuk proses penilaian karakter siswa. Saya senang mengobservasi, so…. Ini adalah sebagian tanggapan saya terhadap mereka. Mari dimualai………………….

Manusia super akselerasi adalah Annisa Ridhani Basri, mampu menyerap informasi lebih rinci dan detail. Satu-satunya siswa yang sering mendapatkan nilai 100, kadang berfikir soal saya mungkin terlalu mudah, *naif. Selain itu ada juga mereka yang super aktif bertanya dengan kritisnya Muh. Fathin Abdillah, Muh. Yusuf, Iin Mulyani, Sitti Rahmah Syan, Yustika Putri dan Graldi Ersal. Berbicara bakat atau talent, saya merasakan hal yang sangat kuat ada pada diri Muh. Yahya Alkautsar. Siswa ini pendiam, bahkan saya berfikir dia aneh, tapi luar biasanya ada sesuatu seperti language setting yang ada di kepalanya dan mungkin haya dialah satu-satunya yang punya bakat linguistik terbaik. Adalagi si Muh. Reyfan, aneh dia berandalan sekolah tapi minat belajarnya tinggi. Sering sekali saya mendapati dia termenung sendiri ataupun bergaul dengan teman dari kelas yang berbeda, well saya tak tau jelas dengan pergaulannya. Saya juga punya joker sejati, Muh. Galih Amin, Muh. Aminullah, Syarifah Azisah, Muh. Arief juga Abrianto, siswa macam mereka dengan kata lainnya ga ada loh ga rame. Ada juga si biang kerok Hasyim, Asrullah dan Muzakkir. Sampai saat ini memang ada melatar belakangi tindakan mereka, tapi ketika saya harus berkata kasar saat itu mungkin ada efek jera yang muncul. Saya juga senang dengan gaya belajar Winandar Haris & Agung, Sri & Rahmi dan Mutiara & Rosmini, hal ini semacan kolaborasi yang sempurna yang saling menopang agar yang lainnya tak tertinggal. Mungkin nama VII4 agak sedikit tertinggal, saya lelah karena kebanyakan dari mereka suka mengeluh *1/5 dari mereka, hal yang dibanggakan mungkin kemauan mereka untuk bekerja dengan sungguh-sungguh. Di kelas ini saya lebih memilih Ananda & Mahasyim sebagai the students. Di luar dari itu saya mengerti kelebihan dan kekurangan siswa-siswi saya. Mentolerir adalah hal yang sempurna karena sayapun tak akan sempurna seperti yang mereka inginkan. Selalu saja ada penyesalan tiap kali saya bertindak keterlaluan, tapi tujuan jelas untuk kedisiplinan mereka semua. Intinya saya bangga bisa mengajar kalian.  Tak ada sempurna tetapi jalan yang terbaik selalu ada toh……. I love ya all, *hug*

Trims,