Senin, 20 Juni 2011

leave your fears behind,


"Ini hal baru bagi saya..................................."
Menatap kosong ke atas langit-langit kamar, ya ampun seakan tidak ada kekuatan lagi untuk memikirkan hal ini. Baru-baru ini hobi saya adalah menatap langit vanila sore hari sambil memikirkan akan sifat pengecut yang tak terelakkan ini. Mudah saja, saya diminta ntuk mengajar di tingkat Sekolah Menegah Atas yang embel-embelnya adalah ekolah unggulan di daerah saya. Uwahhh..... antara pretigious atau nerveous, what should I do?
Selama menjadi guru Bahasa Inggris, saya belum pernah mengajar formal siswa SMA. Tugas KKN, PPL, ataupun tempat saya bekerja sekarang selalu mentoknya berjodoh di SMP. Yah saya suka anak-anak yang bisa saya takuti sekaligus permainkan, wahahhhhhh guru macam apa saya ini.  
Tetapi setelah berbagi panjang lebar dengan orang terdekat, saya menyadari akan rasa kurang percaya diri sekaligus kebimbangan yang saya miliki ini. Saya terbiasa dengan tantangan dan memiliki keberanian tepat di atas kepala saya ini, karena kurang tantangan mungkin ataupun terlalu lama bermasa bodoh dengan diri sendiri yang membuat saya seperti ini. Saya harus bangkit merupakan pilihan dan bangkit dari titik mana kini sedang saya pilih. Jika hidup adalah pilihan, maka keberanian adalah kemampuan mengendalikan kebimbangan dan mengembalikan keyakinan pada tempatnya. Sejak awal memutuskan menjadi seorang guru itu tidak mudah, so ini waktu yang tepat untuk memberanikan diri. Dikutip dari buku Negeri 5 Menara, "Jangan pernah takut dan tunduk pada siapa pun. Takutlah hanya kepada Allah. Karena yang membatasi kita di atas dan di bawah hanyalah langit dan bumi".   
Maka beranilah, karena sikapmu adalah tanggung jawab untuk dirimu sendiri!---Rini

Jumat, 03 Juni 2011

what's next?


That question is quite frustrating to answer, why? Because I am 22 years old. It is not a very good time to speak about the DREAMS. Other girls outside are having good job and financially support them to own what they want. Comparing mine, I am a kind of teacher who gets super minimum salary standard and I can’t afford many things with it. A wise person said that the way to thank of all you have is a truly treasure. I never regret to be like this because I do what I like. It does no matter that it is underestimated or soon. The most important case is I never imagine being someone else outside a teacher profession. It takes quite hard working to be. Actually I hope to be a civil servant teacher, which is totally encouraged by the government and officially realized to be good job in public eyes, but whatever I want to be a teacher because I really want it. Then I want to enroll my Master school somewhere. I am thinking of ADS as the best way to drag me in, while I ever dream to have education out of this country for Master of Education or Master of Linguistics. I don’t even want to stop learning, if I do, I’ll die. This year I am too hopeless of myself listening that Mom really asks me to have my Master school, but I am in uncomfortable zone which does not let me to do that. I promise myself that next year no matter how, I should be in. I am embarrassed how strong the support of my Mom. She insists me to be a Master graduation in a very young age. I thank to Mom, but I have to bring my mind to the straightway and then fight for the way I’ve taken.
          Another story is I want to make an English club at my hometown. There’s no any club here which can help the people falling for English. It’s very interesting, because English now is not really untouchable and many people like it. It has to be free because it is another voluntary formation. I think many friends can help me to do this, but I still think of it later if I can find supporters.     
I know exactly that my present job is not being been proud to my parents, but I apology that this is amusing me. Even I had promised to my words before entering the University. What kind of a fabricant teaches me is what kind of one I suppose to be.
          I am envious to some of my friends who have passed their limits to reach their dream. So do I, but I am in the super confused of what point I must start. I miss of my dream teaching students out of facilities and in the struggle of studying. It seems that I want to catch somewhere to make a battle awareness of the important of education. For me a teacher is destinied to be a real educator, pass the darkness to bring a candle of country’s future, bring a hope for movement and stand ahead the frightened. I want to be someone who has deeply impression of heart and bring good passion to those. So, I leave much dream to do. I hope all of pray I mention will be heard, and then I can stand on one of my dream!